I carry your heart, I carry it in my heart.

Well I'm feeling a little over the weather and also, under it. I got back from England last night at 1130 pm. My flight was a little behind, so I didn't get back to my house in Alcalá until 12 in the morning. I also had to take a taxi, and almost didn't have enough money because for some reason my bank card wouldn't let me take out cash. There happened to be a little blessing in the form of a beautiful, kind hearted spirit from Florida there to save the night, so I ended up with 45 euros extra, which covered the taxi ride and a tip.

SOOOO, yeah, a lot has happened since I've last written. I don't have many photos, honestly not really any that you haven't seen on FB. My phone was stolen during a moment of stupidity in Madrid last week. I was pretty panicky when it first happened because it was taken literally a few hours before my flight to London and I had no other way to communicate with my friend Thaddaeus on meeting time and place in the airport when I landed that evening. My friend Rebeca was with me, and I honestly don't know what I would have done if I had been alone. I say that, and I know that in emergency situations we do what we have to do, but someone was looking out for me when they gave me a friend, because my freak out factor was about a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10.  After I spazzed out for a good 2-3 minutes we decided to go to the US Embassy so I could make phone calls and arrangements with Thad for that evening. 

Man I miss America. I mean it. The embassy sure was good to me. I know that's ultimately what they are there for, but I don't know what I would have done without that little flare of good ole red, white, and blue to calm my spirits. I was able to call my dad, Thad (like 5 times), use the internet to text EVERYONE and their mom on Facebook, and email my professors. I am glad Rebeca and I even thought of the idea to go there because I knew by the time I realized my phone was gone, there was nothing the local authorities could have done to find it anyway. You know what though? the beauty in making mistakes for me is that I definitely won't make THAT one twice... #TRUST.

After I sorted everything out at the embassy, I bought a burn phone. Have you ever done something and realized RIGHT in the moment that you are doing it, you should have done it AGES ago. Yeah, that was me with my burn phone. It has internet access, I can text and call people here for cheap, and I still have my laptop to call my parents... Damn hindsight. Oh well.

So I made my flight to London and finally arrived around 11 ish pm. I made it to Thad's house after going through the million question custom shenanigans in which they ask you all about your personal life, but thank goodness for them. Safety is safety, I suppose. 

Thaddaeus Jackson Browne, I will type his full name, only here because it is pretty intense. You would think the guy was a Lord or something with a name like that.  Any who, I  met him 7 years ago, the last time I made it over the pond, and this was the first time I had seen him since.  He has moved back home and is living in New Cross, London with his parents (Rosalyn and Gilbert), brother (Nathaniel), and good friend Joan. It was a full house, and I loved EVERY minute of it.

His mum was the sweetest, so was his dad. They fed and housed me for three nights. Thad was able to take off two days of work for sightseeing on Wednesday and Friday.  Thursday I was on my own, so Ros helped me map out a sight seeing journey along the River Thames. I was a bit scared at first, but it wasn't hard to get around with London's awesome public transportation system. I kind of like not having to drive anywhere. I also met the sweetest girl from Bulgaria. She was also sightseeing on her own and offered to take some pictures for me, we continued to travel with one another for the remainder of the journey so we could take each others pictures with the important monuments.  I believe she tagged a photo of us on FB, so have a look if you're interested :).

Anyways I saw SOOO many things, and Thaddeaus took tons of pictures, but they are all on his phone and his mom's camera (from the second day). We had dinner every night at the house and I enjoyed the familial sense of love and community. I miss that --being that I am millions of miles away from my own.

On Friday I said goodbye to Thad at King's Cross Station -- we were going to get a picture with platform 9 and 3/4 but I couldn't stand to wait in the long ass line. I love Harry Potter, but honestly my train was about to arrive and they WILL leave you.

I took the train at 530 up North to Newcastle to see my bestie overseas : Hayley Irving. I haven't seen her in 7 years, and she and I grew pretty close in the summer that I was there before.  She met me at the train station after my 3 hour non stop scenic route, and we hugged--- nearly squeezing the breathe out of each other. I can't tell you how awesome it was to be with her again. We drank tea pretty much the entire time, and when we weren't drinking tea we were being fatties, or shopping. The first night we went to the cinema and saw a scary movie---for old time's sake! We saw insidious 3-- was really good!! :) We stayed up until 3 am chatting, woke up at 10 the next day -- had sushi for lunch at a place called NUDO-- SOOOOO GOOD. I hadn't had sushi since leaving the states, so it really fulfilled the craving. 

Hayley and I are both ditzy--so I enjoyed being around someone who was just as clumsy and silly as me. Also she is one of the sweetest people I have ever known. She is living with her Boyfriend Simon-- and their Cat -- Bijoux.  Both of which I had the pleasure to meet. 

There are some moments in life that you just hold onto forever and wish to play over and over and over again in your mind.  This particular weekend will be one of them.  I cried the entire way back to Madrid on Monday night.  Every time I looked at a photo-- crocodile tears. and I'm not ashamed to admit it. 

I am so grateful to have been able to return. It was all in all a fabulous trip. Getting to see Thaddaeus, meeting his family, and of course getting to see Hayley meeting Simon and Bijoux--oh and LOUISE- I got to see Louise, and her partner Michael and their sweet little baby Ezra. :) 

It was just such a great time, and I know I will cherish it forever.

I got back home at midnight, unpacked my things, went to sleep feeling fine, and woke up this morning with the crud. I think I may have to see the doctor tomorrow because I feel pretty yucky. Aches all over, drainage in the back of my throat, pain from pressure in my head. I hope to get some good sleep tonight and feel rejuvenated tomorrow. I bought some green tea, lemon, orange juice, and some gatorade--and my friend Rebeca gave me some nasal congestion medicine. Let's cross fingers and hope this does the trick.

I had my first day of my new classes today with my professors from back home Brian and Karina. Hispanic Civilization and Literary Analysis.  

I'm really glad I took the classes that I did last semester because I feel like they somewhat prepared me for this material, so even though I slaved away writing papers and getting little sleep to meet their deadlines (because I love to procrastinate...I don't want to hear it)--- none of it was in vain.

Today we started reading some poetry in our literary analysis class and our professor asked us what our favorite poem was-- en todo el mundo-- in the whole world)

Mine is easily : I carry your heart with me -- by E.E. Cummings

"i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)

i am never without it(anywhere i go you go,my dear;

and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling) 

 i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)

i want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true) 

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant 

and whatever a sun will always sing is you 

here is the deepest secret nobody knows 

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud 

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows 

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide) 

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart 

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)"

I have met so many people in the span of my young life that this applies to, and just because you are not able to be with me physically does not mean I do not carry you with me-- in my thoughts,  in my actions, in my footsteps, in my words, in my laugh, in my smile ---but most important of all--- in my HEART. <3

All of my love,

until next time,

M.